Protagonist Interview – The Fugitive Galactic Child-Memories of an Arcturian
“Hi Elimar. Thank you for doing this interview with me. In this moment all galactic races are seeing us, no matter of the time and space they belong to.”
“Hi Sol-ra and Hello all! Thank you for having me”. I answered while trying to calm my heart beats. Knowing that all races and the galactic Councils where instantly seeing me, made me feel somehow uncomfortable.
“The first question the Councils chose is: Why did you decide to let me interview you?” Sol-ra asked surprising me. I was expecting to begin with any other question but for sure not this one. I instantly checked if the chi ball was activated. In that moment I understood why before the interview started, Sol-ra gave me the chance to prepare my protection. Being my best friend here and knowing me so well, she was sure I will not want to let everyone read all my thoughts. Therefore, I sent her a thanking thought through a mirror designated only for her, and I replied.
“First of all I decided to accept because you are my best friend here since the first moment when I entered the space gate. Second, I accepted because it is a huge honor to know that the Councils took away from their time and postponed urgent and important projects, to hear my thoughts. Third, because soon I will have to enter into a combat from where I don’t know how I will come out, so now it’s my only chance to let my voice be heard by all races. I know we are all connected but it is a great egoistical pleasure to know and to perceive it, here and now and not in an infinite time and space which I can’t control yet.” My answer came and even if I had no idea where this thought came from, I was proud of myself.
“What do you think this interview is going to be about?” the next question jumped out instantly.
“In this moment I am not very sure what it will be about, but somehow I see this opportunity exactly like on Earth, the death convict receives the right to have a last wish before the final road.” My voice transformed my hidden thoughts into sounds. I was wondering why my chi ball let these thoughts cross over to the outside, but I supposed that even if I wanted to hide them, still something inside me wanted everyone to know that it was possible they will never see me again from now on.
“Tell us, Elimar, what is one thing that you care about more than anything else, and why?“
Hearing this question, something hit my soul so deep that I instantly made a decision that I never thought I would ever make; I will let everyone feel and know my naked soul. I don’t want to lie, I never lied and I will never lie.
I closed my eyes and while all of my body was shaking due to an intense emotional feeling, I raised my hand and let my green healing ray penetrate the chi. Using it, I shattered the ball covering my body and sent each piece back to my secret private place. I opened after this my eyes and the first thing I saw was the smile on Sol-ra’s face and inside my heart I heard her protective voice, “You decided so well, Elimar… so well. Now answer to the Council’s question and do it like only you know how to”.
While feeling that finally I had the courage to let the races know the real Elimar, or Lorriann, or whatever other name I would possibly have which in that moment I didn’t recall, I simply said with a trembling voice: “The one thing I care about more than anything else is to regain my memories. I know I am more than I know now and I feel that I must do something that I don’t recall yet. More than my love for Earth, more than my love for our Arcturian home, more than anything else, I long for my memories because I know deep inside them is something that I long for even more; the reunited soul for which my heart aches all over.”
Sol-ra’s eyes embraced my being and with a gentle touch of her yellow ray on my shoulder she continued using the low vocal spectrum of communication:
“Tell us what you think of the statement: awareness is found by regaining lost memories?“
In that moment, I was so happy that earlier I decided to renounce on my protection and to not filter my thoughts and feeling anymore. I really wanted everyone to know what my soul aches for.
“I don’t pretend that my answer is revealing a universal truth. We all know that the truth has many sides and it is deeper than the Abyss. But I will tell you what my truth is; a truth that even if it is different, it is no more and no less than others truth. When Zilarion first brought me here, I saw everyone knowing me but I didn’t recall any of my memories. I only knew at that moment that I am Lorrian and my parents were probably worried on that place called Earth or home of the human beings. Step by step, you all adopted me while showering over me your pure love. I was surprised when I found out that my name is Elimar and that I have my rank inside the fleet. But all that I found was given to me from you and in fact no memory was recalled. While studying beside you, while doing all that our teachers asked of me to do, I realized that something inside my soul is yelling for a reunion. I suddenly felt that I am not a whole and that an important part of my soul is missing; I feel, I am sure, I know that this part is somewhere near, but I still can’t determine where. The longing for this part had transformed into pain; a deep, huge pain. For this and only for this reason, I want my memories back. And if this is my last day of existence before entering in the Level Five Arena… even if I will never fulfill this wish from now on… at least I want the lost part of my soul to see this interview… and to know that no matter if I will be transformed into stellar dust… I waited, and longed and remembered the promise made a long time ago. This is all that I remembered”.
“How does it make you feel when I say awareness is found by regaining lost memories?” Sol-ra pushed more the question to me.
“Except what I said before, there is only one thing to add; my tears of longing. That’s all” my short answer gushed through my mouth, being too turbid by my sudden first and only confession, to talk more about it.
“Why is that so important to you, Elimar? Why is something unknown and that you long for, so important to you?” my friend further asked while touching my trembling hands with a soft white ray.
“It is important; it is more than important. It is my only reason for being. I was once a soul but for unknown reasons was split in halves. This half you see in front of you crossed through time and space on many paths. On each path a mission was given, but somehow, I felt that no mission was completely fulfilled. Because the mission was given only to my soul. I am only the half.” Saying this I realized that before now this was not at all so clear in my mind, like it was now after answering to the Council’s questions. And even if I had no clue about what will be from now on, I suddenly felt released; any heaviness that was on my shoulders, suddenly disappeared.
I knew what happened. I instantly knew why it happened. Renouncing the protective chi ball and showing my heart to everyone without thinking that I will be judged anymore, I could finally feel free. And perceiving the freedom now, so differently than before, I was peacefully waiting the next question.
“What would you say to someone who told you that you are wrong about that?” Sol-ra’s voice was heard and at the same time I was surprised to notice something that I never saw before. Her body, her solar shape was so different than any other galactic body which I had ever seen; she had billions of strings attached. Those strings seemed to have no end, and to be connected to the core of the universe. Wondering how it was possible to never notice what was now so palpable, I tried not to delay my answer.
“If you would ask me this before, I am sure I would give you another answer. But now… but now… all that I can say is that everyone’s reality is real and even if all the realities are different, no one is more right or more wrong. It is only a matter of perception and I know now that we must work hard to be able to climb the 125 steps of the ladder that ends in Ein Sof. If someone will tell me that I am wrong, I will always honor that reality; because… maybe in the past I also was there, or maybe in the future I will be able to climb to that level.”
“If you could say anything or do anything to that person, what would you want to do to them?” the next question came through at a very low tone.
“I would say only this: There is none else besides Him” I stopped the long answer that I wanted to give, exchanging it with these words only. Closing my eyes, feeling the most profound peace that I ever imagined, deep inside my heart I now knew that this included all the other thoughts I wanted to add. I now knew without even knowing from where, that at the end of the ladder, which every being must climb, no matter of the given dimension, time and space, waits for us the perception of the Unknown, the Indescribable, the Infinite, the Transcendent, the One, the Creator of all that was, is and will ever be.
My eyes were still closed when I felt Sol-ra’s grace embracing me again. The strings were still there, more colorful and more vivid then before.
[This article appeared first in Weave My Tale – October 15, 2014]